Craig's List

Hello, my name is Amber.

And I'm obsessed with Craig's List. I go on it at least three times a day, maybe more if I'm feeling saucy. Saucey (?). Saucie (?)

side note: I used to be a fantastic speller, but I think ever since I mis-spelled antalope (antelope?) in the sixth grade spelling bee, I've been fucked ever since. God damn you vowels; I'll get you one day.

Back to topic- CL! I look at this site constantly. Especially when I'm at work and I have nothing to do. If you already know me, you know by now I have no car- never have and let's face it- probably never will. So I thought "hey where is a neat place to look for cars without really having to go to a car dealer [because I lack a car to get my ass over there]? I know- the interwebs! I found out that the majority of people selling cars in New Mexico are either selling antiques from the 1920-30's or junk. I fucking kid you not: junk yard cars. I guess it makes sense if I wanted to buy some shitty rusted parts for a "car project".

I love looking for jobs on CL. It makes me feel a little better that other people resort to CL to ask for people to employ- I fucking LOVE it. It gives me hope that I can find a real job after graduating college. Anyway- I once was browsing jobs (in a large city- I typically look in large cities because they have more posts to read. doesn't matter if I live in said city or not. Let me have my fantasy) so I'm looking at a post in LA if memory serves me correctly and it's for a nanny position to a young couple with two small children. They had a great house in a great neighborhood with great neighboors and great shcools. They were a typical young "American Dream" couple. As I kept reading it got a little more interesting. They wanted a live-in nanny. "Okay", I thought "That sounds pretty legit. One wouldn't have to worry about traveling and it's practically free room and board." And it kept getting more interesting.
CL: "We're looking for someone to share with."....
me: 'uh...wha?'
CL: "We want someone open minded who is willing to sleep with both of us."
me: 'uuuuhhh...wha???'
CL: "We're looking to bring someone into our marriage to share both physically and emotionally."
Don't get me wrong, I'm an open minded gal. I have no problem with polyamory. But I thought this was a nanny position and it turned into a personal add? I'm left confused, because technically it's a dual post. It doesn't just fit under personal adds, and it doesn't just fit under jobs. Maybe gigs? Speaking of personal adds...

The part of CL that always, without fail, gives me a good chuckle are the personal adds. I think we can all agree on that. Now I'm not knocking internet dating- I think if you want to find someone using the world wide web, go for it. But if you're looking for "the one" on CL....you're doin' it wrong. Also, what's with allt these "free massages"? I get it, I get it; it's most likely spam (like nearly everything else) but...massages? Really? Do people go to W4M thinking, 'you know what? I WANNA MASSAGE FROM SOME DOUCHE-COCK I MET ON CRAIG'S LIST' (yes, "douche-cock"- if you continue to read my blogs, you'll see that word often. Courtesy of Lisa Lampinelli).

What I want to know is where the fuck did these spammers get a marketing degree? I even get emails testifying: FREE MASSAGES! FREE IPHONES! DO YOU WANT TO MAKE MONEY FROM HOME BY FILLING OUT SURVEYS?!?! See folks, spammers get that I'm a broke-ass college senior looking for some free shit and a job- why aren't the rest of you employers getting the hint?!

Final summation: CL makes me really think about what people are keeping from others-OR- what is really blocked out by popular media regarding what is normal and what isn't. Keep the posts a-comin' Craig's List. If anything you supply me sufficient easy entertainment.


peace and love