Hurtles

Hello, my name is Amber.

And I'm heartbroken.

I received an email this morning from the Administration Office at the University saying, "Oh hey, you can't graduate because you still need another math class. That Math 101 you took freshman year doesn't count because it's a remedial class. You can still participate in the commencement ceremony, but you won't get your degree. You can take a math class over the summer though."

I am horrible at math. Let me reiterate that- I AM HORRIBLE AT MATH. Just when I thought I had all my ducks in a row, this happens. As if I haven't been stressed out enough with finding another job, raising money to go to San Francisco, maintaining the 21 hours of classes I have now (maximum is 18 hours and I'm taking an orverload because I thought it help me graduate on time), and then other responsible things like paying bills, grocery shopping, and cleaning the apartment.

I have been so stressed out lately- I didn't see something like this coming. How could I though, really? I've said it before and I'll say it again:

I would rather drop out than stay here any longer.

The bullshit that has gone down in the department is enough to make me want to leave, but when I'm going to a school where the majority of a sociology class thinks everyone in America should only speak English because that's what the majority speaks and considers there race "American" (a nationality, not a race you ignorant douchecock)I want to run as fast as I can and never look back.

I'm at work when I get the email informing me of my lack of credits, and I've been fighting back the tears all morning. (I can't really answer the phone 'Information Technology Services, this is Amber, how can I help you?' while crying. Doesn't look good). I am, without a doubt, heartbroken over this. You may think I'm overreacting (it's quite possible that I am), but if you knew how badly I want to leave, you'd understand.

There is a glimmer of hope in all of this. There is a math 107 (intermediate algebra) over the summer from June 6 to July 30. This however is right when I planned on moving to SF and getting settled in. It's going to be really hard, I know, but I'm going to do it.

I would like to leave you with a positive note. The weather is beautiful today and I feel really pretty in my new flowy peasant skirt.

Peace and love.