Hello, my name is Amber
And I'm not sure what I should be feeling.
One week from today, Steph will be pulling into Portales to load the moving van. The Saturday morning we're heading out to San Francisco. She told me that she's had this feeling of excitement, not unlike waiting back stage for an audition. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited to get out of here, I'm just not feeling that excitement.
I'm leaving family, friends, comfort zones- everything and starting a clean slate. There are no more "learning communities" where I can find other theatre majors, no classes to form new friendships, auditions are actually going to be a challenge.
I'm just worried that my nerves will catch up with me and I'll end up having an anxiety attack in the U-Haul. Well that's a creepy thought. I'm going to print off my stress papers before I leave, for sure. It isn't so as to say that I'm a nervous wreck of a human being, but I admit that I have anxiety issues. I just don't want my first roommate experience to be Steph calming me down and talking me through a hyperventilation.
This can be easily avoided if I just confront my emotions. I'm not very good with goodbyes. I push people away or act like I'm only going away for a weekend. While there are people I don't care to ever see again *coughstevenrobertscough*, it's easier to make a clean break and avoid the mess of saying au revoir.
I want to hug some for hours, others I'd rather punch in the face, and some I'm completely indifferent to. Sometimes people feel obligated to confess their heart's longing to someone they won't see for a long time, or maybe never again. Well, I'm not that kinda girl. If I ever felt something for you, it will remain a mystery.
You know, for someone who's both an actor and playwright, I have a hard time expressing my feelings sometimes. In person, at least. It's easy expressing yourself in writing or by playing a character. But confronting how you feel, face to face, is a little unnerving sometimes. Okay if I don't stop here, this blog is going to go somewhere I really don't want it to go.
That being said....
Peace and Love
-A
Friday, May 28, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
indulgence of the third kind
Hello, my name is Amber.
And instead of cleaning, I'm distracting myself with my blog and Stephen Hawking.
There's this show on the Discovery Channel called Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking- so cool. If there's one thing you didn't know about me, it's that I love science. It isn't something I'm necessarily obsessed with, but when I see something on the internet or tv, I'm reminded how much I like it and I wonder why I didn't study something in the science field instead of theatre. If I were to be some sort of scientist, I would be a volcanologist.
"A volcanologist is a person who studies the formation of volcanoes, and their current and historic eruptions. Volcanologists frequently visit volcanoes, especially active ones, to observe volcanic eruptions, collect eruptive products including tephra (such as ash or pumice), rock and lava samples."
How cool would that job be?!
So the Hawking show has ended and now a show about supernovas is on. At first it freaked me out because they were talking about what would happen if a supernova happened near Earth- in short, we would all be fucked. But THEN, as I'm puttering about my living room picking things up, they talk about our universe. They said everything in the universe was the cause of a supernova- the planets, Earth and everything on it, humans. One guy put it in a really neat way. He said, "The atoms in your left hand are from one star while the atoms is your right hand could be from another. You are made of star dust".
Star dust! I got so excited at the thought of being made up of star dust that I called Steph and practically squealed about the new revelation. Well slap my ass and call me Ziggy- I thought it was the coolest thing. With regular programs like Myth Busters and Weird or What and specials about time travel, supernovas and black holes, I think I know exactly how I'll be spending my post-graduate/pre-moving days: feeding my inner nerd with physics theories.
I oughtta get back to cleaning/ learning how the universe works ;)
Peace and Love
And instead of cleaning, I'm distracting myself with my blog and Stephen Hawking.
There's this show on the Discovery Channel called Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking- so cool. If there's one thing you didn't know about me, it's that I love science. It isn't something I'm necessarily obsessed with, but when I see something on the internet or tv, I'm reminded how much I like it and I wonder why I didn't study something in the science field instead of theatre. If I were to be some sort of scientist, I would be a volcanologist.
"A volcanologist is a person who studies the formation of volcanoes, and their current and historic eruptions. Volcanologists frequently visit volcanoes, especially active ones, to observe volcanic eruptions, collect eruptive products including tephra (such as ash or pumice), rock and lava samples."
How cool would that job be?!
So the Hawking show has ended and now a show about supernovas is on. At first it freaked me out because they were talking about what would happen if a supernova happened near Earth- in short, we would all be fucked. But THEN, as I'm puttering about my living room picking things up, they talk about our universe. They said everything in the universe was the cause of a supernova- the planets, Earth and everything on it, humans. One guy put it in a really neat way. He said, "The atoms in your left hand are from one star while the atoms is your right hand could be from another. You are made of star dust".
Star dust! I got so excited at the thought of being made up of star dust that I called Steph and practically squealed about the new revelation. Well slap my ass and call me Ziggy- I thought it was the coolest thing. With regular programs like Myth Busters and Weird or What and specials about time travel, supernovas and black holes, I think I know exactly how I'll be spending my post-graduate/pre-moving days: feeding my inner nerd with physics theories.
I oughtta get back to cleaning/ learning how the universe works ;)
Peace and Love
Friday, May 14, 2010
The Finish Line
Hello, my name is Amber
and I'm a pansy.
It's the day before graduation, and while it's been incredibly hot all week, it decides to rain today. I love stormy weather (except when the stormy indicates a tornado- that shit is scary). I left work early because I felt a cold coming on, maybe it's allergies I don't know. But as soon as I said "I finished my project, can I go home", it starts to rain. Luckily my co-worker gave me a ride home. I turned on my heater, changed into some sweatpants and checked my email (compulsive habit). I'm by myself (roommate had a final) and the storm starts picking up. Soon the thunder is getting so loud I can feel it reverberating on the ground.
Then the sky cracked open with barrels of thunder that shook the walls. This is where I become a pansy. While I don't mind storms, I do mind the sound of crackling thunder and lightning. It sounds like wood splitting- a sound I am both fond of and a little creeped out by. I don't know where I made the comparison, but I've always imagined the sound of the end of the world sounding like splitting wood.
When I was little, I was very much afraid of thunder. I remember back in Farmington when it would storm, the Glasgow clan of six would turn off the TV, the lights, radio- everything- and we would sit in the living room with the curtains drawn and watch the storm. We had a huge window in the living room (It was practically a wall on its own). And, as the baby of the family, I'd be sitting near my mother with Dolly (the blanket to my Linus), clutching her pillowy cotton stuffed doll body. I wasn't the only kid afraid of the thunder, but I was the one most vocal about it, haha. To make me feel better, my parents told me that the thunder meant the angels were bowling in heaven and the really loud thunder meant they got a strike. Kids will believe anything ;)
So despite the on-again off-again crazy weather and the fact that I might have a cold, today has been great. Mostly because I'm in comfy clothes, had a bowl of baked potato soup (one of my favies) and watched an episode of Modern Family. My finals are done, I found a great radio station that plays my favorite Gen X music (I'm too young to be considered a Gen X-er, but my oldest sister is and I grew up listening to the music. I mean come on, when my friends were listening to Disney sing-a-longs I was listening to Melissa's Nirvana Unplugged, Smashing Pumpkins, Presidents of the United States and Blind Melon cds).
Well, tomorrow is graduation. And then it's three weeks- THREE WEEKS- until Steph and I go out to San Francisco
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sll3eTxsRpw
Peace and Love
and I'm a pansy.
It's the day before graduation, and while it's been incredibly hot all week, it decides to rain today. I love stormy weather (except when the stormy indicates a tornado- that shit is scary). I left work early because I felt a cold coming on, maybe it's allergies I don't know. But as soon as I said "I finished my project, can I go home", it starts to rain. Luckily my co-worker gave me a ride home. I turned on my heater, changed into some sweatpants and checked my email (compulsive habit). I'm by myself (roommate had a final) and the storm starts picking up. Soon the thunder is getting so loud I can feel it reverberating on the ground.
Then the sky cracked open with barrels of thunder that shook the walls. This is where I become a pansy. While I don't mind storms, I do mind the sound of crackling thunder and lightning. It sounds like wood splitting- a sound I am both fond of and a little creeped out by. I don't know where I made the comparison, but I've always imagined the sound of the end of the world sounding like splitting wood.
When I was little, I was very much afraid of thunder. I remember back in Farmington when it would storm, the Glasgow clan of six would turn off the TV, the lights, radio- everything- and we would sit in the living room with the curtains drawn and watch the storm. We had a huge window in the living room (It was practically a wall on its own). And, as the baby of the family, I'd be sitting near my mother with Dolly (the blanket to my Linus), clutching her pillowy cotton stuffed doll body. I wasn't the only kid afraid of the thunder, but I was the one most vocal about it, haha. To make me feel better, my parents told me that the thunder meant the angels were bowling in heaven and the really loud thunder meant they got a strike. Kids will believe anything ;)
So despite the on-again off-again crazy weather and the fact that I might have a cold, today has been great. Mostly because I'm in comfy clothes, had a bowl of baked potato soup (one of my favies) and watched an episode of Modern Family. My finals are done, I found a great radio station that plays my favorite Gen X music (I'm too young to be considered a Gen X-er, but my oldest sister is and I grew up listening to the music. I mean come on, when my friends were listening to Disney sing-a-longs I was listening to Melissa's Nirvana Unplugged, Smashing Pumpkins, Presidents of the United States and Blind Melon cds).
Well, tomorrow is graduation. And then it's three weeks- THREE WEEKS- until Steph and I go out to San Francisco
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sll3eTxsRpw
Peace and Love
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Hey, can you say "boring last post?"
Hello, my name is Amber
And I've been writing some crap lately!
I re-read my last post and thought, "wow, I basically made a laundry list of things that are on my mind". I mean, really, I wrote it in what is probably the most boring effort of telling a story. Dryer than British humor and with less effort at entertainment than Kate Goslin at parenting.
Speaking of Kate Goslin, WWWWHHYYYYYY is she famous? Seriously, I don't even have a television and I see this woman everywhere. Not even just her, but all of these reality tv douchecocks! I am SO annoyed with it all: The (fill in the blank) of love, the real housewives of (location), teen bitches with low self-esteem who are in desperate need of therapy of (trendy city with a beach). As an actor, I consider it appalling and a bastardization of entertainment (ooh, look at me on my high horse, haha). But honestly, I think it's so sad that someone is famous for having 300 children, being on a reality love contest, or getting implants. Do we, as viewers (actually I don't watch that stuff, so I'm gonna say "you, as viewers")- Do you, as viewers, not know what amazing forms of entertainment is out there for you? There's books, there are movies (If it's reality you want, check out a documentary- those don't need a staff of writers). There's this old thing, your grandmother may be able to recall a story about it to you, called The Theatre- no, not a movie theatre- but a stage with real life people acting out situations call a Play.
Okay, that was really mean. But you gotta see where I'm coming from. I've dedicated four years of high school and four years of college working on a Bachelor of Fine Arts in the Theatre. At both schools the Theatre was one of the biggest buildings in the most common area of the campus- and yet some (in some cases, a lot) of people STILL don't know where it is. I've had people ask me, "What's a play? I mean, how is it written? Like a book?" I wouldn't find these questions so retarded if they weren't asked by people who said they've worked on film. Ever read a script? They don't really look all that different. If anyone else asked me, I would just tell them- I'm always willing to answer a question. But from that source, I'm sorry, I can't help but stare and imagine them getting slapped with a script.
Oh by the way, I'm PMS-ing right now in case you were wondering why I seem more catty than usual. Not that you really needed to know what my body is doing, but hey, there you go.
So long rant short: I urge the population to get out more. Go see a play, a band, check out some art, see a new documentary. I know money is scarce, but there are alternatives. Get a library card, go to freedocumentaries.org (hulu has docs as well), check out a local band.
I don't really know what point I'm trying to prove here. My roommate and I were talking about the Tea Party and I got riled up, haha.
Peace and Love
And I've been writing some crap lately!
I re-read my last post and thought, "wow, I basically made a laundry list of things that are on my mind". I mean, really, I wrote it in what is probably the most boring effort of telling a story. Dryer than British humor and with less effort at entertainment than Kate Goslin at parenting.
Speaking of Kate Goslin, WWWWHHYYYYYY is she famous? Seriously, I don't even have a television and I see this woman everywhere. Not even just her, but all of these reality tv douchecocks! I am SO annoyed with it all: The (fill in the blank) of love, the real housewives of (location), teen bitches with low self-esteem who are in desperate need of therapy of (trendy city with a beach). As an actor, I consider it appalling and a bastardization of entertainment (ooh, look at me on my high horse, haha). But honestly, I think it's so sad that someone is famous for having 300 children, being on a reality love contest, or getting implants. Do we, as viewers (actually I don't watch that stuff, so I'm gonna say "you, as viewers")- Do you, as viewers, not know what amazing forms of entertainment is out there for you? There's books, there are movies (If it's reality you want, check out a documentary- those don't need a staff of writers). There's this old thing, your grandmother may be able to recall a story about it to you, called The Theatre- no, not a movie theatre- but a stage with real life people acting out situations call a Play.
Okay, that was really mean. But you gotta see where I'm coming from. I've dedicated four years of high school and four years of college working on a Bachelor of Fine Arts in the Theatre. At both schools the Theatre was one of the biggest buildings in the most common area of the campus- and yet some (in some cases, a lot) of people STILL don't know where it is. I've had people ask me, "What's a play? I mean, how is it written? Like a book?" I wouldn't find these questions so retarded if they weren't asked by people who said they've worked on film. Ever read a script? They don't really look all that different. If anyone else asked me, I would just tell them- I'm always willing to answer a question. But from that source, I'm sorry, I can't help but stare and imagine them getting slapped with a script.
Oh by the way, I'm PMS-ing right now in case you were wondering why I seem more catty than usual. Not that you really needed to know what my body is doing, but hey, there you go.
So long rant short: I urge the population to get out more. Go see a play, a band, check out some art, see a new documentary. I know money is scarce, but there are alternatives. Get a library card, go to freedocumentaries.org (hulu has docs as well), check out a local band.
I don't really know what point I'm trying to prove here. My roommate and I were talking about the Tea Party and I got riled up, haha.
Peace and Love
Monday, May 10, 2010
tick...tick...tick...
Hello, my name is Amber
And time is winding down.
I had two yard sales. The first was a pretty good success- I made a little over $300. The second, however, was dismal. the weather was awful and the people were rude. I barely made 1/3 of what I made last time. I ended up donating the remainder to Good Will (always makes me feel good) and sold a couple things to Hastings. I still have a few books and DVD's that weren't good enough for Hastings that I want to keep trying to sell. They're great books, so I don't see why not.
I got a card in the mail today from my Uncle Kevin and Aunt Ceela. It was a very nice card and they expressed how proud they are of me. Not to mention they wrote me check, so that was pretty nice of them too. I need to write them a thank-you letter. Family will be in Friday night, I do believe. I'm pretty excited; I miss my family. I've decied where I want my new tattoo and according to my Father, my Mother wants a tattoo. Maybe we can get one together after the ceremony- can you imagine?!
I still haven't received my money from taxes, and I'm getting a teensy bit worried. Which reminds me I need to call my parents and ask them if they know when it should come in, which ALSO reminds me to call them so I can do my FAFSA for the summer. this last week is truly a doozy, as my Father would say.
When I'm stressed out, I like to make lists. Lists are great!
What I still need to do:
Mail Painting to Jennifer (yup, I sold a painting!)
Mail books to Valore so I can get my money from them
Steam graduation gown
Deposit check from Kevin and Ceela
Laundry
Clean my bedroom/ rest of apartment
Build professional resume so I can apply for jobs
FAFSA
I think that's it. I carry nearly all of my tension in my upper back, and it's starting to feel like golf balls in some places, haha. Lucky for me, Steph will be going to school to become a message therapist. If she needs to practice, I insist I help her. After all, what are friends for?
There's not much else going on, so I guess I'll leave it at that ;)
Peace and Love
And time is winding down.
I had two yard sales. The first was a pretty good success- I made a little over $300. The second, however, was dismal. the weather was awful and the people were rude. I barely made 1/3 of what I made last time. I ended up donating the remainder to Good Will (always makes me feel good) and sold a couple things to Hastings. I still have a few books and DVD's that weren't good enough for Hastings that I want to keep trying to sell. They're great books, so I don't see why not.
I got a card in the mail today from my Uncle Kevin and Aunt Ceela. It was a very nice card and they expressed how proud they are of me. Not to mention they wrote me check, so that was pretty nice of them too. I need to write them a thank-you letter. Family will be in Friday night, I do believe. I'm pretty excited; I miss my family. I've decied where I want my new tattoo and according to my Father, my Mother wants a tattoo. Maybe we can get one together after the ceremony- can you imagine?!
I still haven't received my money from taxes, and I'm getting a teensy bit worried. Which reminds me I need to call my parents and ask them if they know when it should come in, which ALSO reminds me to call them so I can do my FAFSA for the summer. this last week is truly a doozy, as my Father would say.
When I'm stressed out, I like to make lists. Lists are great!
What I still need to do:
Mail Painting to Jennifer (yup, I sold a painting!)
Mail books to Valore so I can get my money from them
Steam graduation gown
Deposit check from Kevin and Ceela
Laundry
Clean my bedroom/ rest of apartment
Build professional resume so I can apply for jobs
FAFSA
I think that's it. I carry nearly all of my tension in my upper back, and it's starting to feel like golf balls in some places, haha. Lucky for me, Steph will be going to school to become a message therapist. If she needs to practice, I insist I help her. After all, what are friends for?
There's not much else going on, so I guess I'll leave it at that ;)
Peace and Love
Thursday, May 6, 2010
beeeeee positive!
Hello, my name is Amber.
And these last couple of weeks are proving difficult.
The track pad n my phone is stuck, so Bri and I go to Clovis to the Sprint store to get it fixed. They can't fix it and tell me I have to go to a Corporate store and the closest one is in Lubbock, TX. Luckily we both had time to do this, and well, long story short we went on a wild goose chase to find the damn corporate store. We went to three regular stores until we found the one we were looking for. I get there, tell them what's wrong with it and come to find out they can't fix it, so they're going to send me a replacement phone. Should be here by Monday, the latest. But when that comes in, I need to find a way back to Clovis so they can set it up for me. All of this during dead week!
My new computer doesn't have Microsoft Office, so I haven't been able to type my papers for my final in Film Appreciation (the papers that were originally due by noon on Friday, but Janeice has it in her mind that they need to be done before Friday so they can be graded...I think she's just lazy) I still have to watch 2 films and take quizzes on them- gonna go for that today after class.
I have 2 finals knocked out- both were given early to us. I have another final today in aerobics. So during finals week, I still have to do Music Reading, Acting for the Camera (we're just watching our films), History 101...I think that's it. Taking 21 credit hours is a bitch, that's all I have to say.
I told a friend earlier (I think like a couple of weeks ago) that 'things will get better- it's always darkest before dawn'. I oughta take my own advice. I'm graduating next saturday, I'll be working extra hours to earn some money, I have a yard sale this saturday that I'm looking forward to, oh...AND I'M MOVING TO SAN FRANCISCO WITH MY BEST FRIEND. The way things are now, and if that advice is true, my dawn is going to be pretty bright.
Peace and Love
And these last couple of weeks are proving difficult.
The track pad n my phone is stuck, so Bri and I go to Clovis to the Sprint store to get it fixed. They can't fix it and tell me I have to go to a Corporate store and the closest one is in Lubbock, TX. Luckily we both had time to do this, and well, long story short we went on a wild goose chase to find the damn corporate store. We went to three regular stores until we found the one we were looking for. I get there, tell them what's wrong with it and come to find out they can't fix it, so they're going to send me a replacement phone. Should be here by Monday, the latest. But when that comes in, I need to find a way back to Clovis so they can set it up for me. All of this during dead week!
My new computer doesn't have Microsoft Office, so I haven't been able to type my papers for my final in Film Appreciation (the papers that were originally due by noon on Friday, but Janeice has it in her mind that they need to be done before Friday so they can be graded...I think she's just lazy) I still have to watch 2 films and take quizzes on them- gonna go for that today after class.
I have 2 finals knocked out- both were given early to us. I have another final today in aerobics. So during finals week, I still have to do Music Reading, Acting for the Camera (we're just watching our films), History 101...I think that's it. Taking 21 credit hours is a bitch, that's all I have to say.
I told a friend earlier (I think like a couple of weeks ago) that 'things will get better- it's always darkest before dawn'. I oughta take my own advice. I'm graduating next saturday, I'll be working extra hours to earn some money, I have a yard sale this saturday that I'm looking forward to, oh...AND I'M MOVING TO SAN FRANCISCO WITH MY BEST FRIEND. The way things are now, and if that advice is true, my dawn is going to be pretty bright.
Peace and Love
Monday, May 3, 2010
Paul Hayes
Hello, my name is Amber
And I am disgusted.
I was having a lovely monday, until Paul Hayes came into the office. Huffing and puffing and refusing to pay. He wanted to check out some software and after I opened his file, I saw he had already had that SW out. Our procedure and agreement with Microsoft is that you must pay $25.00 to the Cashiers office and bring us your receipt in order to check out another copy of said SW. While I was trying to tell Paul Hayes this, he LITERALLY interrupts me with "wah wah wah wah wah".
Me:"Excuse me?"
Pig: "I talked to Becky [one of our managers] and she said all I had to do was sign a copy and get my cd. She never said I had to PAY anything"
Me: "Well it's part of our procedure that you need to pay-"
Pig: "I'm a professor here and I'm not going to pay if Becky says I don't have to. I have a new computer that needs this software. Because it's a new computer, I don't need to pay for another one."
*****how the hell does that make any sense?*****
Me: "Well if you had a special arrangement with Becky, she should have called us to let us know. It would have saved a lot of time."
Pig: "...Yeah"
He continued to be an asshole and ask retarded questions like "is there a product key on here somewhere?"--YES, it's on the back on the bright yellow strip AND it also mentions where you can find it on the insert- read, motherfucker! I also like how I tell him he needs to initial each check mark to prove he has read and understood each statement and he continues to put a dash by it. I had to stop him and enforce that our contract with Microsoft states that we need an initial- not a check mark, and he still fails to comprehend why- but complies to initial.
Now this is just me being a bitch, but for god's sake- TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY! This man is so overweight, he had a hard time breathing while leaning over to sign his contract, McDonald's cup in tote. I've seen enough documentaries and have read enough essays and journals to know that, yes, some people do have a thyroid problem that affects their weight and they can't control that. But for people who disregard their health completely and make the choice to pack 1,000 calories per McMeal- you should have a little more respect for your body. I'm not saying "never eat out", but damn, take care of your self before you have a McStroke.
Other than this annoying bull-crapo, I had a lovely day. The weather was awesome, I wore my cute new cardigan, and I finished my SOC 101 final early. But let it be known, if you treat someone with that much disrespect, all I have to say is Karma is an unforgiving bitch.
Peace and Love
And I am disgusted.
I was having a lovely monday, until Paul Hayes came into the office. Huffing and puffing and refusing to pay. He wanted to check out some software and after I opened his file, I saw he had already had that SW out. Our procedure and agreement with Microsoft is that you must pay $25.00 to the Cashiers office and bring us your receipt in order to check out another copy of said SW. While I was trying to tell Paul Hayes this, he LITERALLY interrupts me with "wah wah wah wah wah".
Me:"Excuse me?"
Pig: "I talked to Becky [one of our managers] and she said all I had to do was sign a copy and get my cd. She never said I had to PAY anything"
Me: "Well it's part of our procedure that you need to pay-"
Pig: "I'm a professor here and I'm not going to pay if Becky says I don't have to. I have a new computer that needs this software. Because it's a new computer, I don't need to pay for another one."
*****how the hell does that make any sense?*****
Me: "Well if you had a special arrangement with Becky, she should have called us to let us know. It would have saved a lot of time."
Pig: "...Yeah"
He continued to be an asshole and ask retarded questions like "is there a product key on here somewhere?"--YES, it's on the back on the bright yellow strip AND it also mentions where you can find it on the insert- read, motherfucker! I also like how I tell him he needs to initial each check mark to prove he has read and understood each statement and he continues to put a dash by it. I had to stop him and enforce that our contract with Microsoft states that we need an initial- not a check mark, and he still fails to comprehend why- but complies to initial.
Now this is just me being a bitch, but for god's sake- TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY! This man is so overweight, he had a hard time breathing while leaning over to sign his contract, McDonald's cup in tote. I've seen enough documentaries and have read enough essays and journals to know that, yes, some people do have a thyroid problem that affects their weight and they can't control that. But for people who disregard their health completely and make the choice to pack 1,000 calories per McMeal- you should have a little more respect for your body. I'm not saying "never eat out", but damn, take care of your self before you have a McStroke.
Other than this annoying bull-crapo, I had a lovely day. The weather was awesome, I wore my cute new cardigan, and I finished my SOC 101 final early. But let it be known, if you treat someone with that much disrespect, all I have to say is Karma is an unforgiving bitch.
Peace and Love
Thursday, April 29, 2010
just more motivation to leave
Hello, my name is Amber.
And I've got those killer mood swings again.
Maybe it's just not my morning, but I am with silent anger today. It might rain on saturday, the day of mine and Diana's yard sale. It's perfect, beautiful weather all week, but on the day we have a yard sale it decides to rain? FML.
I'm very stressed about the coming weeks. I still have to watch like 3 or 4 movies for my film class and write 2 papers by next friday. I need to finish things up for my history class, finish my workbook for music reading, finishing filming for Thomas (hopefully I'll be done today). I still have to do my FAFSA. Classes in general are mundane and it's becoming more and more difficult to find the motivation to keep going to them. I still need to get a plane ticket to Diana's wedding in July.
I hate the way my body looks, I hate my clothes, I hate how horribly damaged my hair is, I hate that I always feel neglected (whether I am or not, I always feel castrated from everyone). It feels like I'm leaving for good and no one gives a shit. The way things are going, I might as well already be gone.
I know I've said I don't like Negative Nancys, and if you don't either, then just don't read this post. I try so hard to be a happy person, and a lot of the time I am, but lately I am just....not. I'm not particularly sad or angry at any particular thing, I'm just unhappy.
I've never felt so far apart from my friends or my family- I feel like we have nothing in common. I was at a bride's maids get-together the other night and for a while we just talked about getting married and having kids and being housewives. I mean, I have nothing against that, but it's weird when you're the only one who doesn't find that as appealing.
I have no idea what's going on in my family anymore. Melissa tries to keep me updated on things (apparently my grandma had to put her dog, Sable, down) but other than that, I don't really know. My brother and I don't talk, I rarely- RARELY- talk to my other sister Becky. My parents and I don't really talk that much. Everyone else is on the brink of stranger status. I don't get it. I mean, I've never really felt like I fit in with my family, like I was never really supposed to be there, but now it's like I'm really not there. At all. I sent out graduation invitations to everyone and I asked to please RSVP (Respondez S'il Vous Plais = Please respond), not a difficult concept, right? I find out from my dad that the only people going to my graduation are my parents, my brother and my sister Melissa. And you know, if they can't make it, fine. But if someone asks you to RSVP, you should RSVP! I would much rather you tell me you're not going than to ignore me completely.
I don't even know what to say anymore
And I've got those killer mood swings again.
Maybe it's just not my morning, but I am with silent anger today. It might rain on saturday, the day of mine and Diana's yard sale. It's perfect, beautiful weather all week, but on the day we have a yard sale it decides to rain? FML.
I'm very stressed about the coming weeks. I still have to watch like 3 or 4 movies for my film class and write 2 papers by next friday. I need to finish things up for my history class, finish my workbook for music reading, finishing filming for Thomas (hopefully I'll be done today). I still have to do my FAFSA. Classes in general are mundane and it's becoming more and more difficult to find the motivation to keep going to them. I still need to get a plane ticket to Diana's wedding in July.
I hate the way my body looks, I hate my clothes, I hate how horribly damaged my hair is, I hate that I always feel neglected (whether I am or not, I always feel castrated from everyone). It feels like I'm leaving for good and no one gives a shit. The way things are going, I might as well already be gone.
I know I've said I don't like Negative Nancys, and if you don't either, then just don't read this post. I try so hard to be a happy person, and a lot of the time I am, but lately I am just....not. I'm not particularly sad or angry at any particular thing, I'm just unhappy.
I've never felt so far apart from my friends or my family- I feel like we have nothing in common. I was at a bride's maids get-together the other night and for a while we just talked about getting married and having kids and being housewives. I mean, I have nothing against that, but it's weird when you're the only one who doesn't find that as appealing.
I have no idea what's going on in my family anymore. Melissa tries to keep me updated on things (apparently my grandma had to put her dog, Sable, down) but other than that, I don't really know. My brother and I don't talk, I rarely- RARELY- talk to my other sister Becky. My parents and I don't really talk that much. Everyone else is on the brink of stranger status. I don't get it. I mean, I've never really felt like I fit in with my family, like I was never really supposed to be there, but now it's like I'm really not there. At all. I sent out graduation invitations to everyone and I asked to please RSVP (Respondez S'il Vous Plais = Please respond), not a difficult concept, right? I find out from my dad that the only people going to my graduation are my parents, my brother and my sister Melissa. And you know, if they can't make it, fine. But if someone asks you to RSVP, you should RSVP! I would much rather you tell me you're not going than to ignore me completely.
I don't even know what to say anymore
Friday, April 23, 2010
take a break
Hello, my name is Amber.
And I have a problem.
I 'drunk-text' like a mother. Who doesn't though, really? So if you received any texts last night (I think I only talked to a total of three people), sorry about that haha. Times like this I'm kinda glad I still have a Twitter account because most of my messages went there.
Last night was SO fun. my bestie, Steph, was in town and we went to see the show the theatre did (Eurydice). Charlotte was there too and we decided to hit the bar after the show. Best idea ever. I never go to the bars here because one of them is creepy as hell and the other just blasts obnoxious country music AND rap- the two music genres that I loathe confined in one small bar- ick. Every now and then they'll play some Kings of Leon, but even then they only play Sex on Fire or Use Somebody (not saying those are bad songs, it just figures they'd only play their super famous songs. Thank you podunk small town)
So we get to the bar and me and Char go in before Steph (she was busy with something) and while me and Char are waiting in the entrance, safe from the rain, these two douche-cocks come in and think they are THE shit. They ask us what we're waiting for and we tell them we're waiting on our friend, which they probably thought was a lie. The manager of the bar steps outside for something and douche #1, ever so smoothly, tells the manager "It's okay, these ladies are with us". Yeah, as if the Dawghouze (yup, that's how it's spelled) is SO elite. There are only TWO bars in this town and since Goobers is the designated sexual harrassment establishment, it's not like Dawghouze rejects anyone unless they're trying to use a fake ID (and even then I wouldn't be surprised if they let that slide). Char is lucky, she has an engagement ring that wards off these kind of people. I have to resort to either ignoring them (sometimes difficult if they're the persistent breed of douche-cock) or issuing a verbal bitch slap. Unfortunately not everyone falls for the "I have a boyfriend" line, especially when you're not with "him" at the bar. By Steph's suggestion, I think I'll invest in a cheapy ring from like, Claire's, and say "oops, sorry- taken".
Luckily these guys aren't persistent, just annoying. The night goes on, I start with one of my favorite drinks, Sex with the Captain (Captain Morgan, cranberry juice...and something else that tastes good). Jeremy shows up and it's nice because we're four college cohorts having a drink together- no plans at getting hammered and partying like freshmen- no, we're adults now :p. More people that we know start showing up and we eventually move to the pool room because it's more quiet so we can chat and not have to yell over Kid Rock blaring in the speakers. Jacob buys me my next drink (Georgia Peach). The night continues.
Steph brought her awesome new camera and we take advantage of it. Being the social snobs that we tend to be, we decided to mock people (most commonly girls) who duck-face their photos. If you don't know what I mean, go here:
http://antiduckface.com/
I don't do this to be malicious, I do it because it's funny. It would only be malicious if I didn't make fun of my self %90 of the time.
Later Steph sends me a text that there's a guy to my immediate right who keeps checking us out (that's what girls do; when we can't read each others' minds, we text- STEALTH!) and lo and behold: douche-cocks! I swear this guy is close enough to me to be my conjoined twin, I'm surprised I didn't notice this earlier. It would be understandable if there wasn't a lot of room, but we're in the pool hall on college night where everyone is in the main part of the bar/dancefloor. I continue to ignore him and he goes away.
Around this time one of my friends orders a White Russian and she lets me try it- new favorite drink. I order one once the waitress (are they called waitresses? bar girl? I dunno) comes by again. By this time I had long finished my Georgia Peach so I feel good enough to have another drink. After those first two drinks, I wasn't feeling tipsy at all, so it felt safe to order another. The White Russian is what did it though. I was feeling pretty damn good- a nice buzz- by the time I finished it. Lo and behold, Jacob wants to leave soon after his White Russian is delivered and asks me if I want it- why the hell not?
So I only payed for half of my drinks last night- and I don't mind a bit. What made it so fun was that while I did end up getting drunk, it was the perfect balance: I was still in control of my words and actions (proud to say I am NOT a sloppy drunk) and I had enoguh to where I didn't feel sick. My only problem is I text constantly when I drink. What can I say, everyone becomes more social when they drink, and I'm going to talk to you even if you aren't here.
That pretty much wraps up my night- we left after I finished my last drink and were on the hunt for food (naturally). McDonalds was closed- they're usually open for 24 hours starting on thursday to accomodate us drunk college kids- but for some reason they closed early. Steph and I headed to Allsup's for some munchies and I go home, snack a little and attempt to watch Modern Family on Hulu but I fell asleep about half way through haha. (ps- want to thank my sisters for introducing me to that show over Thanksgiving- hilarious).
10 points and a batch of kolachies if you actually read this entire post- I tend to be loquacious and it shows in my writing haha.
Peace and Love
And I have a problem.
I 'drunk-text' like a mother. Who doesn't though, really? So if you received any texts last night (I think I only talked to a total of three people), sorry about that haha. Times like this I'm kinda glad I still have a Twitter account because most of my messages went there.
Last night was SO fun. my bestie, Steph, was in town and we went to see the show the theatre did (Eurydice). Charlotte was there too and we decided to hit the bar after the show. Best idea ever. I never go to the bars here because one of them is creepy as hell and the other just blasts obnoxious country music AND rap- the two music genres that I loathe confined in one small bar- ick. Every now and then they'll play some Kings of Leon, but even then they only play Sex on Fire or Use Somebody (not saying those are bad songs, it just figures they'd only play their super famous songs. Thank you podunk small town)
So we get to the bar and me and Char go in before Steph (she was busy with something) and while me and Char are waiting in the entrance, safe from the rain, these two douche-cocks come in and think they are THE shit. They ask us what we're waiting for and we tell them we're waiting on our friend, which they probably thought was a lie. The manager of the bar steps outside for something and douche #1, ever so smoothly, tells the manager "It's okay, these ladies are with us". Yeah, as if the Dawghouze (yup, that's how it's spelled) is SO elite. There are only TWO bars in this town and since Goobers is the designated sexual harrassment establishment, it's not like Dawghouze rejects anyone unless they're trying to use a fake ID (and even then I wouldn't be surprised if they let that slide). Char is lucky, she has an engagement ring that wards off these kind of people. I have to resort to either ignoring them (sometimes difficult if they're the persistent breed of douche-cock) or issuing a verbal bitch slap. Unfortunately not everyone falls for the "I have a boyfriend" line, especially when you're not with "him" at the bar. By Steph's suggestion, I think I'll invest in a cheapy ring from like, Claire's, and say "oops, sorry- taken".
Luckily these guys aren't persistent, just annoying. The night goes on, I start with one of my favorite drinks, Sex with the Captain (Captain Morgan, cranberry juice...and something else that tastes good). Jeremy shows up and it's nice because we're four college cohorts having a drink together- no plans at getting hammered and partying like freshmen- no, we're adults now :p. More people that we know start showing up and we eventually move to the pool room because it's more quiet so we can chat and not have to yell over Kid Rock blaring in the speakers. Jacob buys me my next drink (Georgia Peach). The night continues.
Steph brought her awesome new camera and we take advantage of it. Being the social snobs that we tend to be, we decided to mock people (most commonly girls) who duck-face their photos. If you don't know what I mean, go here:
http://antiduckface.com/
I don't do this to be malicious, I do it because it's funny. It would only be malicious if I didn't make fun of my self %90 of the time.
Later Steph sends me a text that there's a guy to my immediate right who keeps checking us out (that's what girls do; when we can't read each others' minds, we text- STEALTH!) and lo and behold: douche-cocks! I swear this guy is close enough to me to be my conjoined twin, I'm surprised I didn't notice this earlier. It would be understandable if there wasn't a lot of room, but we're in the pool hall on college night where everyone is in the main part of the bar/dancefloor. I continue to ignore him and he goes away.
Around this time one of my friends orders a White Russian and she lets me try it- new favorite drink. I order one once the waitress (are they called waitresses? bar girl? I dunno) comes by again. By this time I had long finished my Georgia Peach so I feel good enough to have another drink. After those first two drinks, I wasn't feeling tipsy at all, so it felt safe to order another. The White Russian is what did it though. I was feeling pretty damn good- a nice buzz- by the time I finished it. Lo and behold, Jacob wants to leave soon after his White Russian is delivered and asks me if I want it- why the hell not?
So I only payed for half of my drinks last night- and I don't mind a bit. What made it so fun was that while I did end up getting drunk, it was the perfect balance: I was still in control of my words and actions (proud to say I am NOT a sloppy drunk) and I had enoguh to where I didn't feel sick. My only problem is I text constantly when I drink. What can I say, everyone becomes more social when they drink, and I'm going to talk to you even if you aren't here.
That pretty much wraps up my night- we left after I finished my last drink and were on the hunt for food (naturally). McDonalds was closed- they're usually open for 24 hours starting on thursday to accomodate us drunk college kids- but for some reason they closed early. Steph and I headed to Allsup's for some munchies and I go home, snack a little and attempt to watch Modern Family on Hulu but I fell asleep about half way through haha. (ps- want to thank my sisters for introducing me to that show over Thanksgiving- hilarious).
10 points and a batch of kolachies if you actually read this entire post- I tend to be loquacious and it shows in my writing haha.
Peace and Love
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
glimmers
Hello, my name is Amber.
And this song keeps popping in my head.
Sooner or Later by The Grassroots is quite possibly the most unintentionally creepy love song I've ever heard.
"Sooner or later
Love is gonna get you
Sooner or later
Girl, you got to give in
Sooner or later
Love is gonna let you
Sooner or later
Love is gonna win"
I can just picture a girl running in slow motion down a street and this big yetti-thing chasing after her. Don't read too deep into that.
If I could describe these past couple of weeks, I would say "rocky". And then you would say "Yo, Adrian!".... lame attempt at a joke- I digress. The way I'm seeing things now is "It's always darkest before dawn". No matter how trivial, stressful, or heartbreaking my last few weeks as a collegiate are, it will be all the more wonderful getting out of New Mexico and really starting my own life. Not a life comprised of class schedules, grades and the FAFSA. I remember reveling in the freedom college presented to me after being in highschool and now I'm looking forward to the absolute freedom of being a degree-weilding adult.
mmmmidon'tfeelliketyinganymore
kluvubai
And this song keeps popping in my head.
Sooner or Later by The Grassroots is quite possibly the most unintentionally creepy love song I've ever heard.
"Sooner or later
Love is gonna get you
Sooner or later
Girl, you got to give in
Sooner or later
Love is gonna let you
Sooner or later
Love is gonna win"
I can just picture a girl running in slow motion down a street and this big yetti-thing chasing after her. Don't read too deep into that.
If I could describe these past couple of weeks, I would say "rocky". And then you would say "Yo, Adrian!".... lame attempt at a joke- I digress. The way I'm seeing things now is "It's always darkest before dawn". No matter how trivial, stressful, or heartbreaking my last few weeks as a collegiate are, it will be all the more wonderful getting out of New Mexico and really starting my own life. Not a life comprised of class schedules, grades and the FAFSA. I remember reveling in the freedom college presented to me after being in highschool and now I'm looking forward to the absolute freedom of being a degree-weilding adult.
mmmmidon'tfeelliketyinganymore
kluvubai
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Let me clear something up...or at least attempt to
Hello again, I'm still Amber
haha, this blog makes absolute no sense. I have to laugh when I read what I was trying to explain. Essentially, everything is going to be okay.
Peace and Love
Hello, my name is Amber.
And spring is probably the worst time of the year for me.
Let me start this off by saying I am a Gemini. Now, I don't hold everything in astrology to be true, but you'll be surprised how accurate it can be. Being a Gemini is like having a dual personality sometimes (damn twins) which attributes to us being so fickle- good luck asking me what my favorite anything is because I can never decide. I once read that "dating a Gemini is like datng two different people", so you can begin to understand this "inner conflict".
Where this ties in with Spring? Don't worry baby birds, I'll feed ya.
Usually people experience seasonal depression in winter, right? It's cold, gets dark early, there's snow (ugh, that's the worst). But I get it in spring. I think the transition between seasons is what does it. One minute I'll be feeling fine and maybe 15 minutes later, for no reason, I become this cranky little bitch. Or I just become over-emotional and cry easily. Now I do have to admit, lately things have been pretty tough. I'm about to graduate (which is really exciting, but a little scary too) and raising money for the move and getting summer class bs organized is a little taxing. I still haven't found a proctor for my class and that's the most stressful thing I have. This is the only class I need to get my diploma. It's online and because it's a math class (and the math department consists of angry bitter trolls) I have to be out of town to take it- because if I were in town I could just wait to take it in person (which means staying another semester- not gonna happen). So finding a proctor is virtually the only thing keeping me from getting my degree. Community Colleges in SF and other places charge you $25/ hour for proctoring. One of them charges $50/hour for non-residents. Sylvan Learning Center charges $25/ half-hour. Can you think of anything more ludicrous? Paying someone THAT much money to watch me take a test and give me a formula sheet disgusts me.
Another thing I don't like about spring is "spring fever". It happens to us all, folks, and I hate is just as much as you do. I'm not saying "Waah! I want a boyfriend!" because frankly I'm not interested in relationships right now- it's pointless since I'm leaving in a little over a month- but damn, could I just get some attention at least? I mean I know I'm not a super fit size 6, I don't have a tan, I don't wear a bunch of makeup, and I don't exactly fix my hair all the time- but goddamnit I AM a pretty girl and my basket of crazy comes with all sorts of charm and charisma.
As of right now, I'm feeling fine. But who knows how soon that will change ;)
Peace and love
haha, this blog makes absolute no sense. I have to laugh when I read what I was trying to explain. Essentially, everything is going to be okay.
Peace and Love
Hello, my name is Amber.
And spring is probably the worst time of the year for me.
Let me start this off by saying I am a Gemini. Now, I don't hold everything in astrology to be true, but you'll be surprised how accurate it can be. Being a Gemini is like having a dual personality sometimes (damn twins) which attributes to us being so fickle- good luck asking me what my favorite anything is because I can never decide. I once read that "dating a Gemini is like datng two different people", so you can begin to understand this "inner conflict".
Where this ties in with Spring? Don't worry baby birds, I'll feed ya.
Usually people experience seasonal depression in winter, right? It's cold, gets dark early, there's snow (ugh, that's the worst). But I get it in spring. I think the transition between seasons is what does it. One minute I'll be feeling fine and maybe 15 minutes later, for no reason, I become this cranky little bitch. Or I just become over-emotional and cry easily. Now I do have to admit, lately things have been pretty tough. I'm about to graduate (which is really exciting, but a little scary too) and raising money for the move and getting summer class bs organized is a little taxing. I still haven't found a proctor for my class and that's the most stressful thing I have. This is the only class I need to get my diploma. It's online and because it's a math class (and the math department consists of angry bitter trolls) I have to be out of town to take it- because if I were in town I could just wait to take it in person (which means staying another semester- not gonna happen). So finding a proctor is virtually the only thing keeping me from getting my degree. Community Colleges in SF and other places charge you $25/ hour for proctoring. One of them charges $50/hour for non-residents. Sylvan Learning Center charges $25/ half-hour. Can you think of anything more ludicrous? Paying someone THAT much money to watch me take a test and give me a formula sheet disgusts me.
Another thing I don't like about spring is "spring fever". It happens to us all, folks, and I hate is just as much as you do. I'm not saying "Waah! I want a boyfriend!" because frankly I'm not interested in relationships right now- it's pointless since I'm leaving in a little over a month- but damn, could I just get some attention at least? I mean I know I'm not a super fit size 6, I don't have a tan, I don't wear a bunch of makeup, and I don't exactly fix my hair all the time- but goddamnit I AM a pretty girl and my basket of crazy comes with all sorts of charm and charisma.
As of right now, I'm feeling fine. But who knows how soon that will change ;)
Peace and love
Thursday, April 15, 2010
exactly
Hello, my name is Amber.
And I HAVE to share this with you.
I'm currently taking American history 101- I just needed an extra class so I could get my required hours and this class (specifically with Doc Elder) is notorious for being an easy A.
My favorite part about the class are his notes- they always make me laugh. They're full of pop-culture references. This one struck me and hence prompted me to write this blog. We're talking about the wars in early America like the French and Indian War, and the wars that the colonists had to fight in for England. After each section of notes, Doc Elder has a section titled "Interesting Doc Elder Observations". I would like to share Observation #5
[We used to believe that Georgia was founded by James Oglethorpe as a haven for debtors who were being held in jail in England. Nice story, but not true. It was founded to protect the rich colonies of the Carolinas against a Spanish attack like those that had occurred during Queen Anne’s War. Thus, it’s like the scene in the movie “South Park” where the U.S. declares war on Canada and the army commander tells Chef (the guy who is in charge of all the black soldiers) that he’ll lead Operation Human Shield. Then he looks at the white soldiers and says they’re part of Operation Get Behind The Darkie. At that point Chef says “hey, haven’t you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation,” and the white commander says “sorry, son—I don’t listen to Rap music.”]
I'll be posting more of Doc Elder's Interesting Obsversations, because frankly, I think we could all use a chuckle.
peace and love
And I HAVE to share this with you.
I'm currently taking American history 101- I just needed an extra class so I could get my required hours and this class (specifically with Doc Elder) is notorious for being an easy A.
My favorite part about the class are his notes- they always make me laugh. They're full of pop-culture references. This one struck me and hence prompted me to write this blog. We're talking about the wars in early America like the French and Indian War, and the wars that the colonists had to fight in for England. After each section of notes, Doc Elder has a section titled "Interesting Doc Elder Observations". I would like to share Observation #5
[We used to believe that Georgia was founded by James Oglethorpe as a haven for debtors who were being held in jail in England. Nice story, but not true. It was founded to protect the rich colonies of the Carolinas against a Spanish attack like those that had occurred during Queen Anne’s War. Thus, it’s like the scene in the movie “South Park” where the U.S. declares war on Canada and the army commander tells Chef (the guy who is in charge of all the black soldiers) that he’ll lead Operation Human Shield. Then he looks at the white soldiers and says they’re part of Operation Get Behind The Darkie. At that point Chef says “hey, haven’t you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation,” and the white commander says “sorry, son—I don’t listen to Rap music.”]
I'll be posting more of Doc Elder's Interesting Obsversations, because frankly, I think we could all use a chuckle.
peace and love
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
soon schmoon!
Hello, my name is Amber.
And in three and a half weeks, I walk the line.
BECAUSE I'M GRADUATING, BITCH!
It's all becoming very real to me that I will be donning a black cap and gown, cleaning out my apartment, selling a huge majority of my belongings and looking at Portales in a rear-view mirror as it fades into the horizon.
It hit me on Monday when my Sociology teacher told me how many weeks were left in the semester- it hit especially hard when Steph sent pics of the moving van. A lot of things are pacing through my mind. I wouldn't say that I'm much of a risk-taker, but I've done some things this year that I thought I'd never do. I wrote a well-received play, successfully played a character in a play that had ridiculous written all over it, modeled in the nude (still doing that acually), and am about to move over 1000 miles away.
My older sister moved to Tacoma, WA after she graduated high school and moved back to NM in Albuquerque a few years later (I think 3 or 4), my brother lived in Denver for a bit, then moved to Flagstaff, AZ and is currently back in Farmington. My other sister went to college in Albuquerque and is still there working in a dance group/company. My point being, as happy as they are, I want to leave NM and not come back unless to visit. Yes, I know the film industry is blossoming in NM but it doesn't mean I shouldn't see what else is there. Besides, everything is in either Alb. or Santa Fe- neither of which I would like to live.
I'm excited to see what SF has for me.
peace and love
And in three and a half weeks, I walk the line.
BECAUSE I'M GRADUATING, BITCH!
It's all becoming very real to me that I will be donning a black cap and gown, cleaning out my apartment, selling a huge majority of my belongings and looking at Portales in a rear-view mirror as it fades into the horizon.
It hit me on Monday when my Sociology teacher told me how many weeks were left in the semester- it hit especially hard when Steph sent pics of the moving van. A lot of things are pacing through my mind. I wouldn't say that I'm much of a risk-taker, but I've done some things this year that I thought I'd never do. I wrote a well-received play, successfully played a character in a play that had ridiculous written all over it, modeled in the nude (still doing that acually), and am about to move over 1000 miles away.
My older sister moved to Tacoma, WA after she graduated high school and moved back to NM in Albuquerque a few years later (I think 3 or 4), my brother lived in Denver for a bit, then moved to Flagstaff, AZ and is currently back in Farmington. My other sister went to college in Albuquerque and is still there working in a dance group/company. My point being, as happy as they are, I want to leave NM and not come back unless to visit. Yes, I know the film industry is blossoming in NM but it doesn't mean I shouldn't see what else is there. Besides, everything is in either Alb. or Santa Fe- neither of which I would like to live.
I'm excited to see what SF has for me.
peace and love
Friday, April 9, 2010
........
One touch and my heart is pounding
Short of breath, fingertips quivering
Cheeks flushing
Lips pulsing
I crave just one more touch, one more caress
Don't let this be the last
Short of breath, fingertips quivering
Cheeks flushing
Lips pulsing
I crave just one more touch, one more caress
Don't let this be the last
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
you take the good, you take the bad
Hello, my name is Amber.
And.... and...
I have one class, ONE CLASS, to take over the summer to finish my degree. I tried registering online yesterday and all of the summer math classes are are Closed or "SR" (Whatever the hell that means). I talked to Fel and apparently the professor for math 107 is being finicky about who takes her class. I have to have her permission to take the class. So I wrote her a little e-mail telling her how I only need the one class to finish my degree and I won't be in Portales (let alone New Mexico) to take it.
I'm pretty nervous over this. I don't know what I'm going to do if she won't let me take the class.
OH! And get this: I was on the BA catalogue insead of the BFA because I was told the math wouldn't be so intense (wrong). Now when you're getting a BA, you have to have 2 years of another language- not 2 semesters. If you don't have the 2 years, then you get a BS. Apparently I was going to get a BS in Theatre- that makes no sense! There are 3 ways to get around it- either take the 2 years of language, take a language compitency exam, or look at your HS transcript for intermediate or higher language class you took.
I opted for the HS transcript- I took 2 years of French (hell, I was even French Club President for 2 years) and I was told to go to Registrar's. They were so fucking rude to me. Oh, and they lost my paperwork for graduation. After being treated like shit ad then ignored for about 10 minutes, I just walked out. Soon followed by a slight anxiety attack when I got to Fel. I really need to find a way to stop having anxiety attacks. I will say though that it was the first one I've had all year- so that's good I suppose.
Anyway, I'm back on the BFA catalogue since I have to take math 107. I just hope to god I can take it over the summer.
I've also notice that my postings are usually really negative. Probably because I only write when I'm upset...but I should also write when I'm happy, too.
On the brighter side of life- I can't believe I almost forgot- I'm getting a delicious amount in my tax return. $1800 to be exact. I was so worried about finding money to get to SF and that takes care of about half- I'm absolutely thrilled. Plus, it's been really nice outside (except for the wind). I'm really going to miss this hot weather. I'm not going to miss times like when it was 105 for a week last summer, that was a killer. But I am going to miss 85-90 degree weather and the smell of green chile's roasting at Smith's.
Oh well, adventure awaits :D
Peace and Love
And.... and...
I have one class, ONE CLASS, to take over the summer to finish my degree. I tried registering online yesterday and all of the summer math classes are are Closed or "SR" (Whatever the hell that means). I talked to Fel and apparently the professor for math 107 is being finicky about who takes her class. I have to have her permission to take the class. So I wrote her a little e-mail telling her how I only need the one class to finish my degree and I won't be in Portales (let alone New Mexico) to take it.
I'm pretty nervous over this. I don't know what I'm going to do if she won't let me take the class.
OH! And get this: I was on the BA catalogue insead of the BFA because I was told the math wouldn't be so intense (wrong). Now when you're getting a BA, you have to have 2 years of another language- not 2 semesters. If you don't have the 2 years, then you get a BS. Apparently I was going to get a BS in Theatre- that makes no sense! There are 3 ways to get around it- either take the 2 years of language, take a language compitency exam, or look at your HS transcript for intermediate or higher language class you took.
I opted for the HS transcript- I took 2 years of French (hell, I was even French Club President for 2 years) and I was told to go to Registrar's. They were so fucking rude to me. Oh, and they lost my paperwork for graduation. After being treated like shit ad then ignored for about 10 minutes, I just walked out. Soon followed by a slight anxiety attack when I got to Fel. I really need to find a way to stop having anxiety attacks. I will say though that it was the first one I've had all year- so that's good I suppose.
Anyway, I'm back on the BFA catalogue since I have to take math 107. I just hope to god I can take it over the summer.
I've also notice that my postings are usually really negative. Probably because I only write when I'm upset...but I should also write when I'm happy, too.
On the brighter side of life- I can't believe I almost forgot- I'm getting a delicious amount in my tax return. $1800 to be exact. I was so worried about finding money to get to SF and that takes care of about half- I'm absolutely thrilled. Plus, it's been really nice outside (except for the wind). I'm really going to miss this hot weather. I'm not going to miss times like when it was 105 for a week last summer, that was a killer. But I am going to miss 85-90 degree weather and the smell of green chile's roasting at Smith's.
Oh well, adventure awaits :D
Peace and Love
Thursday, April 1, 2010
contrary to popular belief
Hello, my name is Amber.
And I am not Asian.
I thought that was obvious, but over the course of almost two years now I have had a handful of people ask me if I was indeed part Asian. It's not that I take offense to it, it's just....well, really far off.
I haven't posted anything in a little while, so let me go off on a quick lil tangent:
If you are a telemarketer calling a business and the person you're calling for just happens to be busy everytime you call- IT MEANS THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. I can take a message and direct you to their voicemail as much as you want, but if they haven't called you back within the day or next morning, chances are they don't want your shit.
Case in point:
Three weeks ago I get a phone call at work.
Me: "ITS, this is Amber, how can I help you?"
Tele: "Hi! My name is Asher Miller. I'm calling from Rapid 7 Communications. I had already called the Ruidoso campus and Steve Miller directed me over to the Portales campus. He said I should speak with your IT Drector, Clark. I was just wondering if he was available by chance? We have some upgrades we would like to offer him."
Me:".....just one moment"
I find it incredibly annoying when people feel they have to tell you their life story- All I need to know is who you are, who you're calling with, and what company.
So, I transfer the call and ask Clark if I should take a message. Yes, take a message. Why the director and the managers don't just tell them 'no', don't know. All I'm sure of is no one is intersted in what they're selling.
Long story short, my buddy Asher calls numerous times a day for TWO WEEKS asking for Clark. You'd think he would take a hint when all three receptonists are telling him he's in a meeting or out of the office. And each day I can hear his patience getting thinner.
Finally over spring break, he calls again. I don't have to lie- Clark took the week off for vacation. I tell Asher this and I could practically hear the vein in his eye pop.
Me: "ITS, this is Amber, how can I help you?"
Asher: "Clark please, this is Asher Miller. I believe you guys just got back from Spring Break?"
Me: "no, sir, our spring break started on monday."
Asher: "Oh okay- Clark wouldn't happen to be aorund would he?"
Me: "no, he took the week off for vacation"
Asher: "Oh that is just so typical! I don't believe this."
Me: "Um, I'm sor-"
Asher: "Just what is your job there? What is it you do?"
Me: "I'm a receptionist."
Asher: "Are you CLARK'S receptionist? Is he your boss?"
Me: "No, the administrative assistant is my boss and Clark's receptionist. I'm a work-study student."
Asher: "Oh, you're work-sudy, huh?"
Me: "YES. Would you like to talk with our administrative assistant?"
Asher: "Well I guess so since NO ONE ELSE is around!"
Fuck you, Asher Miller. Fuck you with something hard and sand-papery.
My boss Bonnie talks to him- I don't hear exactly what she's saying but she's using her mom voice. Apparently though she found out exactly what he needed and referred Asher to one of the managers. And the cycle continues.
It's been a total of about a month now and Asher has been calling for one of the managers for about a week and a half. It has gotten to the point where we recognize his number. I won't even take his call- instead I dump him straight to voicemail. I'm sorry, but I don't go to work to be harrassed by irate telemarketers because they can't sell a product. Not my problem. The insane part now is that he's starting to call from a blocked number so we can't screen the call anymore.
I find that creepy.
The moral of the story is- Know when to give up. Asher Miller, you are long overdue.
Peace and Love
And I am not Asian.
I thought that was obvious, but over the course of almost two years now I have had a handful of people ask me if I was indeed part Asian. It's not that I take offense to it, it's just....well, really far off.
I haven't posted anything in a little while, so let me go off on a quick lil tangent:
If you are a telemarketer calling a business and the person you're calling for just happens to be busy everytime you call- IT MEANS THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. I can take a message and direct you to their voicemail as much as you want, but if they haven't called you back within the day or next morning, chances are they don't want your shit.
Case in point:
Three weeks ago I get a phone call at work.
Me: "ITS, this is Amber, how can I help you?"
Tele: "Hi! My name is Asher Miller. I'm calling from Rapid 7 Communications. I had already called the Ruidoso campus and Steve Miller directed me over to the Portales campus. He said I should speak with your IT Drector, Clark. I was just wondering if he was available by chance? We have some upgrades we would like to offer him."
Me:".....just one moment"
I find it incredibly annoying when people feel they have to tell you their life story- All I need to know is who you are, who you're calling with, and what company.
So, I transfer the call and ask Clark if I should take a message. Yes, take a message. Why the director and the managers don't just tell them 'no', don't know. All I'm sure of is no one is intersted in what they're selling.
Long story short, my buddy Asher calls numerous times a day for TWO WEEKS asking for Clark. You'd think he would take a hint when all three receptonists are telling him he's in a meeting or out of the office. And each day I can hear his patience getting thinner.
Finally over spring break, he calls again. I don't have to lie- Clark took the week off for vacation. I tell Asher this and I could practically hear the vein in his eye pop.
Me: "ITS, this is Amber, how can I help you?"
Asher: "Clark please, this is Asher Miller. I believe you guys just got back from Spring Break?"
Me: "no, sir, our spring break started on monday."
Asher: "Oh okay- Clark wouldn't happen to be aorund would he?"
Me: "no, he took the week off for vacation"
Asher: "Oh that is just so typical! I don't believe this."
Me: "Um, I'm sor-"
Asher: "Just what is your job there? What is it you do?"
Me: "I'm a receptionist."
Asher: "Are you CLARK'S receptionist? Is he your boss?"
Me: "No, the administrative assistant is my boss and Clark's receptionist. I'm a work-study student."
Asher: "Oh, you're work-sudy, huh?"
Me: "YES. Would you like to talk with our administrative assistant?"
Asher: "Well I guess so since NO ONE ELSE is around!"
Fuck you, Asher Miller. Fuck you with something hard and sand-papery.
My boss Bonnie talks to him- I don't hear exactly what she's saying but she's using her mom voice. Apparently though she found out exactly what he needed and referred Asher to one of the managers. And the cycle continues.
It's been a total of about a month now and Asher has been calling for one of the managers for about a week and a half. It has gotten to the point where we recognize his number. I won't even take his call- instead I dump him straight to voicemail. I'm sorry, but I don't go to work to be harrassed by irate telemarketers because they can't sell a product. Not my problem. The insane part now is that he's starting to call from a blocked number so we can't screen the call anymore.
I find that creepy.
The moral of the story is- Know when to give up. Asher Miller, you are long overdue.
Peace and Love
Monday, March 22, 2010
I'm a Betty
Hello, my name is Amber.
And I'm going blonde. **pics to come, stay tuned**
I've been wanting to do this for about 4 years now, haha. I finally have the cajones to do it. As of late, pre-graduation things have been getting me down. When I get into funks like this, I feel better if I make some sort of change. I guess it makes me feel in control.
Here's where I act like a damn fool. I did the initial dye job (technically Bri did it). The color I found is "Born Blonde- Maximum Blonding for Even the Darkest Hair" which makes me so SO excited. **PS- Br also trimmed my hair, so I have a somewhat new 'do**. After I rinse the dye, I immediately see that while my roots took the color really well, a large portion of my hair came out this weird strawberry/still dark brown look.
My head looks like a fucking monarch butterfly.
Naturally, I'm a little...no, pretty sad by this. Blonde is definitely an extreme I've never tried and I felt like it was a mistake. Bri and I make an executive decision and I put on a hat, head to Wal-Mart and get another box to get maximum coverage (there were also a lot of patches that were missed).
I am now sitting in my living room after applying the second time around....this shit burns. It burned a little before the first time- but second time around I can confidently say 'yes, that IS a burning sensation on my scalp.' In retrospect, I should have listened to my instinct telling me to wait to re-dye...but what's done is done, right?
I put in a movie and am occupying my time to distract myself from the burn. About 45 minutes have passed and the pain has subsided (I have to leave it in for 90 min- crazy, I know). Other things I am doing to forget my head is on fire: checking Facebook, catching up with friends, going over notes for my film class, pondering what I'll write for my essays for my history class aaaaaand writing this blog.
The only thing that really sucks about the wait is that last night, I did not sleep at all. And the night before, I went to bed at 6:30 am. My weekend was very sleep deprived. Last night was pretty rough, knowing I had to work from 8-5 and being stressed out. I came in to work this morning, but only for two hours. I think it was a good call, not only because of the obvious, but I've been told at work that I "need to slow down because you're doing too much work". Finally my boss flat out told me:
"Amber, you have a great work ethic, but you need to slow down. You're a work-a-holic, and take it from someone who knows- you can slow down and give yourself a break. I'm a work-a-holic too and I've sacrificed personal and family relatonships and have had to deal with stress-related health problems. So slow down while you're young enough to know how."
....What do you say to that? It turns out you don't say anything. You go home from work after two hours because of your stress-related insomnia and chill the fuck out. I cleaned my livingroom a bit, listened to some favorites from childhood (I'm not ashamed to say I rocked out to Spice Girls), accompanied Bri on her haircut adventure and got a huge Cherry/Cola slushie and sat in the park with my buddy. This is where the hair dye idea comes in.
After Bri gets her haircut, she wants to color it. After looking at the hair colors, decide I want to do something too- and you know where it goes from there :)
So long story short- I'm finally doing something I've been wanting to do AND I've had a lovely day. Despite the fact that I've had no sleep, I haven't been cranky or sleepy at all today. I do feel that I will sleep heavy tonight :D
Peace and Love
Friday, March 19, 2010
Freud forgot to mention
Hello, my name is Amber.
And I have moustache envy.
Better yet, I have photographic proof. If you already know me, you've already seen these. But I find them hilarious- so I'm putting them up again. My sister Melissa and her kiddo Declan (aka Duckie, The Duck, or Dec- in case you wonder who I'm referring to) came to Portales to visit me last September. I had a senior recital for a play I wrote called 1518 Holdbrook Dr. so they came to check it out. Before they left, we went to Taco Bell for lunch and Declan saw those little toy dispensers that you put the quarters in. He asked if he could get one and he REALLY wanted one from the moustache/sideburn toys.
side note: WHO was the guy (or girl) that decided it would be great to sell fake facial hair to children for $0.75? Did he (or she) get a marketing degree with those spammers? They know extactly what I want!
But I digress- Declan really wants some fake facial hair (keep in mind, he is three years old and I'm fairly certain he doesn't know what it is. But I love it) So Melissa gives me the quarters and starts the car while I attain the 'stache, just as excited as my toddler nephew.
We get in the car, I take it out, and try to put it on Dec. NOW he realizes it's something that goes on his face and wants nothing to do with it. Finally after some coaxing, we stick the grey 'stache on his face and I am forever thankful that my sister is a photographer.
Unfortunately the fun spectacle of " 'stache on toddler" doesn't last long because the glue irritated Duck's face. I put it on, trying to show Dec that it's okay, and the fun began. Both Missy and I got so excited, we scrounged up another 3 quarters and I grabbed another moustache (Keep in mind all of this is happening in the Taco Bell parking lot). The next 'stache was light brown- almost the exact same as my hair. It was too perfect. What ensued next was a photo shoot in the car that lasted a good 30-40 minutes. To be honest, it lasted so long because we were laughng so hard. Dec may not have liked it, but me and Missy thought the 'staches were GOLD.
My fascination with facial hair goes as far back as Kindergarten. It was piture day and I was trying to get ready to "look my best". My mother had put sponge curlers in my hair the night before and I picked out a hunter green sweater with a floral print on the front- I think there were bows on it too. so I have this mess of super curly har and a tacky little sweater (thank you 1993) and I decide that I'm not quite looking my best. I recall that my dad shaves his face every morning before work and THAT'S my ticket. Growing up with two older sisters, there are beauty products EVERYWHERE- one of them being a pink daisy razor. This story could have easily taken a dark and horrible twist- think 5 year old with a razor; eek! But I decided that if I should look my best, I should shave my face, just like Daddy.
Now, it's not that my mother or my sisters are negligent, but it IS 7:30 am and four girls are one bathroom getting ready. So I very gently brush the razor down one cheek (I know you have to be gentle- I've seen Daddy do this about 10 times already; or even Missy when she's shaving her armpits). Okay, so far so good. One cheek down, one to go.
Aaaaand done! Oh....oops, I forgot my chin. Alright, shouldn't be too hard. I mean, I got both cheeks. just a swipe here and a-
...and...
ouch...
Wha-
OUCH!
I knicked myself for the first time. NOT as a pubescent teeneager learning to shave her legs for the first time, but as a Kindergartener trying to look her best for picture day- it HAD to be picture day. Somewhere in the hosue is a picture of me grinning cheek to cheek with a happy new scab on my chin. We would have covered it with a band aid (but me and Becky used them all on our fake wounds- they were glow in the dark Genie from Aladdin, how could be resist?) but instead we took out the Hydrogen Peroxide, cleaned it up and dabbed it dry. I was a trooper ;)
And now for some funny pictures (sorry- kinderphoto not included)
And I have moustache envy.
Better yet, I have photographic proof. If you already know me, you've already seen these. But I find them hilarious- so I'm putting them up again. My sister Melissa and her kiddo Declan (aka Duckie, The Duck, or Dec- in case you wonder who I'm referring to) came to Portales to visit me last September. I had a senior recital for a play I wrote called 1518 Holdbrook Dr. so they came to check it out. Before they left, we went to Taco Bell for lunch and Declan saw those little toy dispensers that you put the quarters in. He asked if he could get one and he REALLY wanted one from the moustache/sideburn toys.
side note: WHO was the guy (or girl) that decided it would be great to sell fake facial hair to children for $0.75? Did he (or she) get a marketing degree with those spammers? They know extactly what I want!
But I digress- Declan really wants some fake facial hair (keep in mind, he is three years old and I'm fairly certain he doesn't know what it is. But I love it) So Melissa gives me the quarters and starts the car while I attain the 'stache, just as excited as my toddler nephew.
We get in the car, I take it out, and try to put it on Dec. NOW he realizes it's something that goes on his face and wants nothing to do with it. Finally after some coaxing, we stick the grey 'stache on his face and I am forever thankful that my sister is a photographer.
Unfortunately the fun spectacle of " 'stache on toddler" doesn't last long because the glue irritated Duck's face. I put it on, trying to show Dec that it's okay, and the fun began. Both Missy and I got so excited, we scrounged up another 3 quarters and I grabbed another moustache (Keep in mind all of this is happening in the Taco Bell parking lot). The next 'stache was light brown- almost the exact same as my hair. It was too perfect. What ensued next was a photo shoot in the car that lasted a good 30-40 minutes. To be honest, it lasted so long because we were laughng so hard. Dec may not have liked it, but me and Missy thought the 'staches were GOLD.
My fascination with facial hair goes as far back as Kindergarten. It was piture day and I was trying to get ready to "look my best". My mother had put sponge curlers in my hair the night before and I picked out a hunter green sweater with a floral print on the front- I think there were bows on it too. so I have this mess of super curly har and a tacky little sweater (thank you 1993) and I decide that I'm not quite looking my best. I recall that my dad shaves his face every morning before work and THAT'S my ticket. Growing up with two older sisters, there are beauty products EVERYWHERE- one of them being a pink daisy razor. This story could have easily taken a dark and horrible twist- think 5 year old with a razor; eek! But I decided that if I should look my best, I should shave my face, just like Daddy.
Now, it's not that my mother or my sisters are negligent, but it IS 7:30 am and four girls are one bathroom getting ready. So I very gently brush the razor down one cheek (I know you have to be gentle- I've seen Daddy do this about 10 times already; or even Missy when she's shaving her armpits). Okay, so far so good. One cheek down, one to go.
Aaaaand done! Oh....oops, I forgot my chin. Alright, shouldn't be too hard. I mean, I got both cheeks. just a swipe here and a-
...and...
ouch...
Wha-
OUCH!
I knicked myself for the first time. NOT as a pubescent teeneager learning to shave her legs for the first time, but as a Kindergartener trying to look her best for picture day- it HAD to be picture day. Somewhere in the hosue is a picture of me grinning cheek to cheek with a happy new scab on my chin. We would have covered it with a band aid (but me and Becky used them all on our fake wounds- they were glow in the dark Genie from Aladdin, how could be resist?) but instead we took out the Hydrogen Peroxide, cleaned it up and dabbed it dry. I was a trooper ;)
And now for some funny pictures (sorry- kinderphoto not included)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Hurtles
Hello, my name is Amber.
And I'm heartbroken.
I received an email this morning from the Administration Office at the University saying, "Oh hey, you can't graduate because you still need another math class. That Math 101 you took freshman year doesn't count because it's a remedial class. You can still participate in the commencement ceremony, but you won't get your degree. You can take a math class over the summer though."
I am horrible at math. Let me reiterate that- I AM HORRIBLE AT MATH. Just when I thought I had all my ducks in a row, this happens. As if I haven't been stressed out enough with finding another job, raising money to go to San Francisco, maintaining the 21 hours of classes I have now (maximum is 18 hours and I'm taking an orverload because I thought it help me graduate on time), and then other responsible things like paying bills, grocery shopping, and cleaning the apartment.
I have been so stressed out lately- I didn't see something like this coming. How could I though, really? I've said it before and I'll say it again:
I would rather drop out than stay here any longer.
The bullshit that has gone down in the department is enough to make me want to leave, but when I'm going to a school where the majority of a sociology class thinks everyone in America should only speak English because that's what the majority speaks and considers there race "American" (a nationality, not a race you ignorant douchecock)I want to run as fast as I can and never look back.
I'm at work when I get the email informing me of my lack of credits, and I've been fighting back the tears all morning. (I can't really answer the phone 'Information Technology Services, this is Amber, how can I help you?' while crying. Doesn't look good). I am, without a doubt, heartbroken over this. You may think I'm overreacting (it's quite possible that I am), but if you knew how badly I want to leave, you'd understand.
There is a glimmer of hope in all of this. There is a math 107 (intermediate algebra) over the summer from June 6 to July 30. This however is right when I planned on moving to SF and getting settled in. It's going to be really hard, I know, but I'm going to do it.
I would like to leave you with a positive note. The weather is beautiful today and I feel really pretty in my new flowy peasant skirt.
Peace and love.
And I'm heartbroken.
I received an email this morning from the Administration Office at the University saying, "Oh hey, you can't graduate because you still need another math class. That Math 101 you took freshman year doesn't count because it's a remedial class. You can still participate in the commencement ceremony, but you won't get your degree. You can take a math class over the summer though."
I am horrible at math. Let me reiterate that- I AM HORRIBLE AT MATH. Just when I thought I had all my ducks in a row, this happens. As if I haven't been stressed out enough with finding another job, raising money to go to San Francisco, maintaining the 21 hours of classes I have now (maximum is 18 hours and I'm taking an orverload because I thought it help me graduate on time), and then other responsible things like paying bills, grocery shopping, and cleaning the apartment.
I have been so stressed out lately- I didn't see something like this coming. How could I though, really? I've said it before and I'll say it again:
I would rather drop out than stay here any longer.
The bullshit that has gone down in the department is enough to make me want to leave, but when I'm going to a school where the majority of a sociology class thinks everyone in America should only speak English because that's what the majority speaks and considers there race "American" (a nationality, not a race you ignorant douchecock)I want to run as fast as I can and never look back.
I'm at work when I get the email informing me of my lack of credits, and I've been fighting back the tears all morning. (I can't really answer the phone 'Information Technology Services, this is Amber, how can I help you?' while crying. Doesn't look good). I am, without a doubt, heartbroken over this. You may think I'm overreacting (it's quite possible that I am), but if you knew how badly I want to leave, you'd understand.
There is a glimmer of hope in all of this. There is a math 107 (intermediate algebra) over the summer from June 6 to July 30. This however is right when I planned on moving to SF and getting settled in. It's going to be really hard, I know, but I'm going to do it.
I would like to leave you with a positive note. The weather is beautiful today and I feel really pretty in my new flowy peasant skirt.
Peace and love.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Sleeping Lessons
Hello, my name is Amber.
And I'm an insomniac. Well, ish.
During the semester, I'm fortunate enough to have a busy schedule that forces me to be at work and class between 8am and 5pm, and even later if I'm doing something for a show so I'm just exhausted enough to go bed at a decent hour. But weekends (and not just weekends, but particularly the summer) are where sleep deprivation becomes my new best friend. We stay up all night and she convinces me to brainstorm plays, make lists of things to donate to goodwill (or as of late- things to sell for a yard sale because my broke ass needs provisions when I graduate), making grocery lists, cleaning my bedroom, space out and day dream (ironic?) about what my next day/week/year will be like. Do not underestimate my power to space out- I can go for HOURS (but that's another blog). I'll paint my toe nails and think about how I want to get my hair cut and check my Facebook JUST ONE LAST TIME.
Oh, but when I DO go to bed at a decent hour, I wake up in the middle of the night. Every night, some time between 3 andd 4. I don't know why- I have a couple of theories why...but again, that's another blog entirely.
My favorite part about being wide awake at these ridiculous hours are the infomercials. I think about half of my channels have infomercial after hours. There's the occasional "Extreme Workout Set!" and numerous kitchen appliances that, I admit, I totally want. But there are some things out there that are beyond my comprehension.
1. HD glasses- http://www.seen-on-tv.ws/mail-order/hd-vision.html
"See the world in HD!"
I don't even have a witty comment for that.
2. Catheters- http://www.trymedicaldirectclub.com/?uid=PS1_GS1_MDC_CAT_CATH
"Stop using dirty catheters!"
This is implying people ARE using dirty catheters?
I was pretty thrown off when I saw this commercial. I was expecting an elderly woman at the Grand Canyon talking about how much she loved her Hover 'Round- not how badly she needed clean catheters.
3. Snuggie- for dogs http://www.seen-on-tv.ws/mail-order/snuggie-for-dogs.html
I thought dogs had fur. Why the HELL would they need a snuggie?
I think one of the down sides of being a night owl in this town is the fact that everything closes at 10 pm, if not earlier. So since I'm awake, it's not like I can go out and do something rather than become an infomercial connoiseur or make a 6th revised list of what to sell.
K, that's enough bitchin'. I've honestly been trying to write this blog for about 2 1/2 hours now, but inbetween multi-tasking and that wonderful ability to space out I mentioned earlier, I haven't gotten very far.
Long story short- "I don't sleep well"
Peace and love
And I'm an insomniac. Well, ish.
During the semester, I'm fortunate enough to have a busy schedule that forces me to be at work and class between 8am and 5pm, and even later if I'm doing something for a show so I'm just exhausted enough to go bed at a decent hour. But weekends (and not just weekends, but particularly the summer) are where sleep deprivation becomes my new best friend. We stay up all night and she convinces me to brainstorm plays, make lists of things to donate to goodwill (or as of late- things to sell for a yard sale because my broke ass needs provisions when I graduate), making grocery lists, cleaning my bedroom, space out and day dream (ironic?) about what my next day/week/year will be like. Do not underestimate my power to space out- I can go for HOURS (but that's another blog). I'll paint my toe nails and think about how I want to get my hair cut and check my Facebook JUST ONE LAST TIME.
Oh, but when I DO go to bed at a decent hour, I wake up in the middle of the night. Every night, some time between 3 andd 4. I don't know why- I have a couple of theories why...but again, that's another blog entirely.
My favorite part about being wide awake at these ridiculous hours are the infomercials. I think about half of my channels have infomercial after hours. There's the occasional "Extreme Workout Set!" and numerous kitchen appliances that, I admit, I totally want. But there are some things out there that are beyond my comprehension.
1. HD glasses- http://www.seen-on-tv.ws/mail-order/hd-vision.html
"See the world in HD!"
I don't even have a witty comment for that.
2. Catheters- http://www.trymedicaldirectclub.com/?uid=PS1_GS1_MDC_CAT_CATH
"Stop using dirty catheters!"
This is implying people ARE using dirty catheters?
I was pretty thrown off when I saw this commercial. I was expecting an elderly woman at the Grand Canyon talking about how much she loved her Hover 'Round- not how badly she needed clean catheters.
3. Snuggie- for dogs http://www.seen-on-tv.ws/mail-order/snuggie-for-dogs.html
I thought dogs had fur. Why the HELL would they need a snuggie?
I think one of the down sides of being a night owl in this town is the fact that everything closes at 10 pm, if not earlier. So since I'm awake, it's not like I can go out and do something rather than become an infomercial connoiseur or make a 6th revised list of what to sell.
K, that's enough bitchin'. I've honestly been trying to write this blog for about 2 1/2 hours now, but inbetween multi-tasking and that wonderful ability to space out I mentioned earlier, I haven't gotten very far.
Long story short- "I don't sleep well"
Peace and love
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Craig's List
Hello, my name is Amber.
And I'm obsessed with Craig's List. I go on it at least three times a day, maybe more if I'm feeling saucy. Saucey (?). Saucie (?)
side note: I used to be a fantastic speller, but I think ever since I mis-spelled antalope (antelope?) in the sixth grade spelling bee, I've been fucked ever since. God damn you vowels; I'll get you one day.
Back to topic- CL! I look at this site constantly. Especially when I'm at work and I have nothing to do. If you already know me, you know by now I have no car- never have and let's face it- probably never will. So I thought "hey where is a neat place to look for cars without really having to go to a car dealer [because I lack a car to get my ass over there]? I know- the interwebs! I found out that the majority of people selling cars in New Mexico are either selling antiques from the 1920-30's or junk. I fucking kid you not: junk yard cars. I guess it makes sense if I wanted to buy some shitty rusted parts for a "car project".
I love looking for jobs on CL. It makes me feel a little better that other people resort to CL to ask for people to employ- I fucking LOVE it. It gives me hope that I can find a real job after graduating college. Anyway- I once was browsing jobs (in a large city- I typically look in large cities because they have more posts to read. doesn't matter if I live in said city or not. Let me have my fantasy) so I'm looking at a post in LA if memory serves me correctly and it's for a nanny position to a young couple with two small children. They had a great house in a great neighborhood with great neighboors and great shcools. They were a typical young "American Dream" couple. As I kept reading it got a little more interesting. They wanted a live-in nanny. "Okay", I thought "That sounds pretty legit. One wouldn't have to worry about traveling and it's practically free room and board." And it kept getting more interesting.
CL: "We're looking for someone to share with."....
me: 'uh...wha?'
CL: "We want someone open minded who is willing to sleep with both of us."
me: 'uuuuhhh...wha???'
CL: "We're looking to bring someone into our marriage to share both physically and emotionally."
Don't get me wrong, I'm an open minded gal. I have no problem with polyamory. But I thought this was a nanny position and it turned into a personal add? I'm left confused, because technically it's a dual post. It doesn't just fit under personal adds, and it doesn't just fit under jobs. Maybe gigs? Speaking of personal adds...
The part of CL that always, without fail, gives me a good chuckle are the personal adds. I think we can all agree on that. Now I'm not knocking internet dating- I think if you want to find someone using the world wide web, go for it. But if you're looking for "the one" on CL....you're doin' it wrong. Also, what's with allt these "free massages"? I get it, I get it; it's most likely spam (like nearly everything else) but...massages? Really? Do people go to W4M thinking, 'you know what? I WANNA MASSAGE FROM SOME DOUCHE-COCK I MET ON CRAIG'S LIST' (yes, "douche-cock"- if you continue to read my blogs, you'll see that word often. Courtesy of Lisa Lampinelli).
What I want to know is where the fuck did these spammers get a marketing degree? I even get emails testifying: FREE MASSAGES! FREE IPHONES! DO YOU WANT TO MAKE MONEY FROM HOME BY FILLING OUT SURVEYS?!?! See folks, spammers get that I'm a broke-ass college senior looking for some free shit and a job- why aren't the rest of you employers getting the hint?!
Final summation: CL makes me really think about what people are keeping from others-OR- what is really blocked out by popular media regarding what is normal and what isn't. Keep the posts a-comin' Craig's List. If anything you supply me sufficient easy entertainment.
peace and love
And I'm obsessed with Craig's List. I go on it at least three times a day, maybe more if I'm feeling saucy. Saucey (?). Saucie (?)
side note: I used to be a fantastic speller, but I think ever since I mis-spelled antalope (antelope?) in the sixth grade spelling bee, I've been fucked ever since. God damn you vowels; I'll get you one day.
Back to topic- CL! I look at this site constantly. Especially when I'm at work and I have nothing to do. If you already know me, you know by now I have no car- never have and let's face it- probably never will. So I thought "hey where is a neat place to look for cars without really having to go to a car dealer [because I lack a car to get my ass over there]? I know- the interwebs! I found out that the majority of people selling cars in New Mexico are either selling antiques from the 1920-30's or junk. I fucking kid you not: junk yard cars. I guess it makes sense if I wanted to buy some shitty rusted parts for a "car project".
I love looking for jobs on CL. It makes me feel a little better that other people resort to CL to ask for people to employ- I fucking LOVE it. It gives me hope that I can find a real job after graduating college. Anyway- I once was browsing jobs (in a large city- I typically look in large cities because they have more posts to read. doesn't matter if I live in said city or not. Let me have my fantasy) so I'm looking at a post in LA if memory serves me correctly and it's for a nanny position to a young couple with two small children. They had a great house in a great neighborhood with great neighboors and great shcools. They were a typical young "American Dream" couple. As I kept reading it got a little more interesting. They wanted a live-in nanny. "Okay", I thought "That sounds pretty legit. One wouldn't have to worry about traveling and it's practically free room and board." And it kept getting more interesting.
CL: "We're looking for someone to share with."....
me: 'uh...wha?'
CL: "We want someone open minded who is willing to sleep with both of us."
me: 'uuuuhhh...wha???'
CL: "We're looking to bring someone into our marriage to share both physically and emotionally."
Don't get me wrong, I'm an open minded gal. I have no problem with polyamory. But I thought this was a nanny position and it turned into a personal add? I'm left confused, because technically it's a dual post. It doesn't just fit under personal adds, and it doesn't just fit under jobs. Maybe gigs? Speaking of personal adds...
The part of CL that always, without fail, gives me a good chuckle are the personal adds. I think we can all agree on that. Now I'm not knocking internet dating- I think if you want to find someone using the world wide web, go for it. But if you're looking for "the one" on CL....you're doin' it wrong. Also, what's with allt these "free massages"? I get it, I get it; it's most likely spam (like nearly everything else) but...massages? Really? Do people go to W4M thinking, 'you know what? I WANNA MASSAGE FROM SOME DOUCHE-COCK I MET ON CRAIG'S LIST' (yes, "douche-cock"- if you continue to read my blogs, you'll see that word often. Courtesy of Lisa Lampinelli).
What I want to know is where the fuck did these spammers get a marketing degree? I even get emails testifying: FREE MASSAGES! FREE IPHONES! DO YOU WANT TO MAKE MONEY FROM HOME BY FILLING OUT SURVEYS?!?! See folks, spammers get that I'm a broke-ass college senior looking for some free shit and a job- why aren't the rest of you employers getting the hint?!
Final summation: CL makes me really think about what people are keeping from others-OR- what is really blocked out by popular media regarding what is normal and what isn't. Keep the posts a-comin' Craig's List. If anything you supply me sufficient easy entertainment.
peace and love
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